American Idol, Top 5 Elimination

1. What is up with Paula's boobs? They are approximately eleven times bigger than normal, and hoo boy are they out there.
2. I hate that stupid game that Ryan plays where the odd person has to choose the group he thinks he belongs with. I wish Adam had pulled an Archuleta and resisted the evilness. That said, I am totally shocked by Adam and Kris in the bottom three.
3. My assumption is that the judges gave Taylor Hicks a standing ovation because his song was over.
   
4. WHY IS ADAM IN THE BOTTOM TWO?! He is overall the most talented person on this show ever in the history of the world. I hate the voting public. I hate this show. I hate that I care. I hate everything.
5. Matt Giraud goes home. Good riddance.
   

American Idol, Top 7 Elimination Redux

1. And so the question of whether or not Adam Lambert can dance has been answered. That dude's got rhythm. Can he do any wrong in my eyes? Tune in next week to find out! Also, the question of whether or not Paula has any shame has also been answered. She does not. She put herself in the dance routine. Next question.
2. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Adam Lambert washed a dog in the Ford commercial. SQUEE!
3. Mr. H: "Tonight I learned that if you are not a white male, you have no chance on American Idol."
4. My local FOX commercials tag: Check out the new look Susan Boyle is sporting...on the streets. (Seriously, they put emphasis on "streets." This is the first time I have ever wanted to watch FOX news. Because really, what the hell is she wearing NOW?!)
   
5. It's really too bad for Allison that little girls are evil and only vote for cute boys. Otherwise she'd be rocking this shit, because we all know that the only people who vote for American Idol are twelve-year-old girls and my mom.

American Idol, Top 7 Elimination

1. Kara DioGuardi literally said, "Yay!" when Ryan announced her name.
   Dear Kara,
   It is lame to "Yay!" yourself. I'm sorry that you are not getting the attention from the fans and your fellow judges that you need and feel you deserve. Not shut the eff up and watch the show. Silently.
   Sincerely, Pop Five
2. Though I was pleasantly surprised that the Idols appeared to be singing live during the group song (doing the thing that, you know, they're supposed to be doing), I was disappointed that Adam was definitely the worst in the bunch. What's up with that?
3. I hate Zac Efron's hair. I hate his stupid, slouchy hats even more.
   
4. Miley Cyrus has a bad case of the mush-mouth. I did not understand a single word that she sang. Not one single word. She could have been sing-whining about Radiohead for all I know. Jeez. (Mr. H says that when you sing like that, it makes the tone of your voice sound better. His conjecture is that she's doing it on purpose. My conjecture is that it's not working, which was evident from the blood flowing from my eardrums by the end of the song.)
5. I was really shocked by Matt Giraud's aborted ouster. First of all, I kinda like him. And I really thought Anoop was done. Second of all, what a waste of the save. Why save someone that has no shot at winning? I do not understand these new-fangled devices the AI producers keep throwing at us.
   

American Idol, Top 8 Elimination

1. America just wasn't ready for Scott's brand of punk rock.
2. So, did the make-up artists borrow Adam's glitter for the Ford commercial shoot to save money? Because we are in a recession.
3. Just to be clear: We have an hour-long episode on Tuesday that runs over by ten minutes, cutting off one of the best performances of the season from most people's DVRs. Meanwhile, we're going to go ahead and keep the hour-long results show on Wednesday. If, Fox, you're intent on keeping Wednesdays padded, why not just add an extra half-hour on Tuesday where it really counts?
4. Scott hasn't been great in weeks, so Paula and Kara's undying loyalty to him made me feel vaguely uncomfortable. Sort of like when your racist friend goes out of his way to be super polite to your black friend? Everyone knows what's going on and everyone is uncomfortable.
5. I hate that Flo Rider song more than words can convey.