I heart the crazy.

I am obsessed--obsessed, I tell you!--with this story. (Mostly because crazy people make me so, so happy.)

Five reasons why:

1. Just reading the comparisons of passages from the two books in Ms. Scott's letter shows how effing crazy this girl-woman is. These passages are basic crap that any writer who writes low-level romances including a pregnancy would write. I swear I've read about half of the lines quoted in this lawsuit in every single Harlequin Presents secret-baby romance. (Please don't complain to me, romance fans. I know there are good romances, okay?) These examples in particular made me laugh out loud:
   
   From The Nocturn:
   

   She pulled up her blouse, just to her stomach, and did her best to look down at it. "Do I look any different yet?"

   From Breaking Dawn:
   

   I yanked the blue fabric out of the way and stared at my stomach.

   Yes, yes. These two characters are the only pregnant women in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD and WRITTEN FICTION to have ever lifted their shirts to look at their bellies. What a fucking rip-off!
   
   
2. Jordan Scott, the suer, went to Harvard to study psychology at the tender age of 17. Woot, congratulations! But then, in a stroke of OBVIOUS genius, she transferred to UCLA to study film. Now, for the sake of argument, let's say you're smart enough to get into Harvard (or rich enough, for you conspiracy theorists) to study psychology, but then you have a change of heart and want to go off and study acting and film and all that other sort of stuff that will make you famous. Why are you transferring to UCLA instead of going to Yale Drama? If you're Ivy League smart, why aren't you transferring to Meryl's alma mater to put in the work and train to be at the top of your craft? Makes. No. Sense. Well, actually number 3 is going to answer that for you.
   
   
3. One of Ms. Scott's quotes from her IMDB page: "The path to immortality? I think it's in the entertainment industry." She wants to be famous! And now she is! And not for being an uncredited extra in Max Keeble's Big Move, either--for being a complete famewhore who instigates completely unwarranted lawsuits. Awesome.
   
   
4. Ms. Scott's book is published by Griffon Publishing. I have no idea who this company is. This is the only Griffon Publishing company I found. I don't understand. Is The Nocturne not only the original Breaking Dawn, but also a role-playing game? Is Jordan Scott going to sue Pokemon next?! Bizarre.
   
   
5. And last, but certainly not least, I give you Ms. Scott's biography as it is on her personal website:
   

   As a musician and singer, I have worked in the entertainment industry since I can remember, but I became serious about my writing when I graduated high school at age 14.
   
   When I was 15 I began writing The Nocturne Trilogy, after I took some time away from writing music and working in film and television. I wanted to write a character-driven story with characters who seem to "live and breathe" on the pages. I wrote The Nocturne with the intent of bringing readers into a completely new world of the fantasy and romance genres. And now I have completed it, after more than three years of intense research, character development, writing, rewriting, editing, and writing a little more! I hope you guys enjoy it.

   I commenced studies in a Harvard University Psychology program when I was 17, after which I wanted to major in Film and Theater, and transferred to UCLA. So these days I divide my time between music, college, and writing.

   I have an award winning script, and three other scripts in various stages. Wow

   I love school, writing, music, and of course Boys.

Does anyone else get the vibe that this girl was totally up for the role of Jenny Humphrey on Gossip Girl and lost? Anyone?

Research killed the rabbit.

It's been . . . a while. Because I'm a terrible, awful, inconsistent blogger. My apologies.

Seriously though, it's because I've been busy like whoa. Working, working, working, and just generally single-handedly saving the written word for all of humankind. Nothing too extraordinary really.

I joke.

In my never-ending quest to be knowledgeable about everything I want to be knowledgeable about (as opposed to being knowledgeable about things I should be knowledgeable about like the economy or public health care), I've been doing some research into the young adult book market. If you know me, you know that this quest was triggered by my ardent distaste for anything related to a certain pop culture phenomenon that begins with TWI and ends in LIGHT. I haven't read young adult books (I'm not including Harry Potter in this, because duh) since I was a young adult myself, and I was honestly curious to see if the genre had depreciated as much as this certain pop culture phenomenon would have lead me to believe.

(Please don't send me hate mail if you like Twilight. I have actually read all four books, so I'm not an uninformed party. I would never disparage something without all the facts. Therefore, I feel completely content in my dislike. Don't try to sway me. Though ignorant bashing is more than welcome.)

So, here are five things I have learned in my (half) summer of YA reading.

1. It's not Young Adult anymore; it's Teen. I don't actually know if this is a global shift, but I've noticed it in my personal bubble. My local bookstore rearranged everything last month, moving all the YA books and relabeling them Teen. Penguin rebranded their product line as Teen. I wonder if anyone else is bothered by this. To me, Young Adult seems so much more respectable than Teen. Am I alone on that? (I don't really run in YA circles, so I'm just wondering aloud.)
   
   
2. Moreso than in any other genre, the heroine is likely to end up with the misfit. It's like the 80s rom-com all over again. James Spader doesn't get the girl; John Cusack gets the girl. As a girl who has had a crush on John Cusack for as long as she can remember, I'm so on board.
   
   
3. I can read it really, really fast. Seriously, I read five Sarah Dessen books in one week. In one normal week of going to work, and cooking dinner, and cleaning the house, and caring for my furry dependents. Not too shabby.
   
   
4. Most are written in first person. In my typical reading life, I tend to steer clear of first person. I can't stand it. It always makes me feel like the protagonist is vapid, self-absorbed, exclusive. (Actually, first person narrative is what I first blamed my dislike of Twilight on. You know, before I wanted all of the characters to die painful deaths.) But I think this is what makes YA work. The narrators are teenagers, and teenagers (oh please forgive me, but I once was one and I speak from LOADS of experience) tend to be vapid, self-absorbed, exclusive. Even those of us who wandered around with our Dostoyevsky--seriously, we were the worst. There are certainly thoughtful teenagers, but I think being primarily interested in yourself and your experiences are part of the teenage process.
   
   
5. Musicians are hot. All the hot YA heroes are musicians. I believe it's the law. An artist may be substituted for a musician, but only if the artist utilizes quirky material. For example, an oil painter is a no-go, but a metal lawn ornament artist gets the green light (and the girl).

I will grace you with my favorite YA reads tomorrow. In the meantime, check out The Book Smugglers, who are celebrating Young Adult Appreciation Month.

Five Reasons I'm Angry

So I read about all this "new" Twilight stuff that's being released, and it unleashed an angry rant monster in me.

Don't misunderstand me, I liked the movie. Mostly because I drink the RPattz kool-aid every chance I get.

1. She sold 16% OF ALL BOOKS SOLD last quarter. To add additional NON-CONTENT books to this list of saleable items is ridiculous and obvious.
   
   
2. Why isn't Little, Brown channeling all that profit from the 16% OF ALL BOOKS that Meyer sold and channeling it into the next big thing? (While I'd prefer they spread the wealth to new and innovative voices, I'm aware this is a profit-driven business and that's not a realistic goal.) And while they're at it, maybe they can make sure the next big thing is well-written and readable. K, thanks.
   
   
3. This is almost (ALMOST!) as big of a money grab as the fourth book in the series. Meyer signed an original contract for THREE books at a fixed advance. Then all of a sudden, oh! It's a four-book series! Let me tell you what, it's not. It's barely a one-book series. You need conflict to make something interesting. Or not, I guess, according to the book sales.
   
   
4. There are so many well-written love stories out there that you don't have to buy BLANK NOTEBOOKS to support. Ask me. I'm happy to provide a recommendation.
   
   
5. I think the anger is passing, and now I'm just sad. Sad that people are throwing hard-earned money away on this shlock. Sad that young girls are idolizing books that demonize their sexuality. (Sorry, it's true.) Sad that young girls think "this is love." Sigh.