Reading in 2009

I've read 52 books to date, which puts me well below my goal of 75 for 2009.

C'est la vie.

But, as I was updating my book log, I was looking at my grade for The Lost Symbol, and it got me thinking about that stupid book all over again. (With the effort I have put into thinking about and talking about this book, I probably could have easily read the 13 books I need to meet my goal.)

I graded it a D. You may think this is an unfair grade, but as you'll recall, the book put me in a coma. I actually think it may be against the law to rate a book that put you in a coma higher than a D. But I'm not sure; I haven't read the healthcare reform bill yet.

Wocka, wocka, wocka.

Anyway. (Spoilers, ahoy!) The reason I started thinking about it was how awesome would it have been if Dan Brown had actually killed Robert Langdon when you thought he killed Robert Langdon? That would have been an upgrade to a solid C+. When I read that scene, I said out loud, "YESSS!"

But I wonder if I'm the only person who thinks it would have been balls-out wild for Dan Brown to have killed Robert Langdon. Because dude's a freaking professor, okay? And not an Indiana Jones kind of professor, either. He's a professor who drinks cat-poop coffee. (I assume.) He is not schooled in beating the crap out of bad guys, like Dr. Jones. (You know that Robert Langdon would accidentally whip himself if he had a whip, and then blame it on his crippling claustrophobia.) He could maybe race a bad guy in the Harvard swimming pool, but that's about it.

What I'm saying is that Robert Langdon cannot defend himself. At all. And yet he survives intrigue after intrigue, bad guy after bad guy. So it follows that eventually the guy's luck is going to run out.

I can only hope I'm there to see it when it happens.

Mua ha ha.

The Lost Symbol

I read The Lost Symbol this weekend.

1. I helped Dan Brown make all the money in the world. Yes, I bought this book on Dan Brown day, aka Tuesday, September 15. I went out on my lunch, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people were buying books at lunchtime on a Tuesday. Sure, most were there for The Lost Symbol, but I also noticed plenty of people picking up other books in addition. Anything that gets people to buy books is fine by me. I left the bookstore happier for it.
   
   
2. Turning points? I don't need no stinking turning points. I started the book on Friday, after Mr. H and I had enjoyed our typical summer Friday burger dinner. Mr. H was watching television in the living room, so I retreated to the bedroom to read. Around page 140, at 7:30, I fell asleep. And I stayed asleep until 7 am the next morning, at which point I was terrified to continue reading. It was obvious to me that I had suffered from a Dan Brown-induced coma of some sort.
   
   But seriously, I fell asleep because the plot was still being set up at page 140. How is that even possible? I'm not the biggest fan of Dan Brown's writing, but I never felt he had pacing problems before. The beginning of this book was, in my case at least, exhausting.
   
   
3. Robert Langdon is a snob. No seriously, he's a big snob. I'll let the evidence speak for itself.
   
   My note for this line read, "Robert Langdon is SUCH a snob."
   

   When Langdon arrived home around six, he began his morning ritual of hand-grinding Sumatra coffee beans and savoring the exotic scent that filled his kitchen.

   My note for this line read, "See?! Snobby snob snob."
   

   "Awesome!" somebody shouted.
   Langdon rolled his eyes, wishing someone would ban that word.

   Later on, I had a note over a separate line that read, "I would say this is AWESOME, but Robert Langdon would roll his eyes at me."
   
   
4. It's all mind over matter, right? Robert Langdon's defining characteristic is that he's claustrophobic, and yet no one can blame you if you forget this fact. The majority of the action in The Lost Symbol takes place in basements and the like, and yet Langdon's supposedly crippling disability only seems to come up with there's nothing else of interest to note. Seriously. The narrative would be moving (albeit slowly) along without a single thought spared to the setting. Then everyone would run out of data to spew at one another, and Langdon would suddenly realize, "Oh shit. I'm claustrophobic."
   
   
5. Information overload. Also known as infodump. Also known as a major issue I also had with The DaVinci Code. Also known as "STFU, characters. I don't care anymore." At least by me. Obviously, Brown's book rely on data and information, and obviously he needs to share that information with his readers. But it goes on, and on, and on, and on... Literally, pages and pages of information that I eventually started skimming, without detriment to my understanding of the plot as a whole.
   
   I mentioned this to Mr. H, and he thinks that people like this aspect of Dan Brown's books. That the common reader finds this interesting. Perhaps this is true, but I find it hard to believe that anyone out there wouldn't like to see the sheer amount of knowledge better woven into the narrative.
   

Overall, it was interesting, as I've found Dan Brown's books to be. However, The Lost Symbol is at it's core supposed to be a thriller, and above all, thrillers should be tightly written and paced. The Lost Symbol is not.